A Little Help
by CarefreeRogue
Summary: Raven,cloaked in secrecy,always distancing herself. They'll never notice, and it's just fine by her. Oh, but that pesky Boy Wonder...
1. Morning Routine

Her eyes opened and it was still dark. Her purple curtains allowed for a few stars to be shown in between. It was 3:30 am and no one else stirred in Titans Tower. Raven sighed and her brow relaxed in a contented sort of way. She then swung her legs unceremoniously over the side of her bed and into slippers. She headed toward her door and chanced a glance in the mirror as she pulled on a robe. Hair stuck out at awkward angles from her head and there were traces of her lifestyle around her eyes. She sighed, this time resignedly, and smoothed her mane with a hand. Anything more, the supposed, was excusable in her line of work.

She entered the shared kitchen and went straight for the kettle. She then went to the fridge in search of a condiment for some toast. Something smelled fowl, which she sought and disposed of, a pudding of some sort no doubt created by Starfire and neglected by all. She then grabbed a block of cheese, left partially exposed, cut of the hard, discolored portion, wrapped it proper and placed it back on its designated shelf. A half gallon of soy milk had, at long last, reached its sell by date, and Raven made a mental note to notify Beast Boy. Ah, apple butter, that would do quite nicely.

She set the jar on a tray and began to move it to the table, but stopped. Beast Boy had been left in charge of kitchen duty, last night, so it was in a worse state then usual. Raven levitated the dirty dishes to the area beside the sink and her lips sunk into a slight frown when she noticed last night's food had been left out as well. _All in due time, all in time... _After at last setting down her tray, she dropped two slices of bread in the toaster then turned to face the kitchen, determined.

Pulling the trash can from under the counter, she scraped the leftovers from off their plates. The dishes were then placed in the sink, awaiting a rinse. Candy wrappers and soda cans littered the opposite countertop and were dealt with accordingly. A new roll of paper towels was added to the dowel and Raven grabbed a sponge and a few kitchen towels. Her toast sprang up and the kettle whistled. In fluid motion, she turned off the stove, grabbed a mug, added a teabag, poured the water, grabbed her toast, and sat down at the table.

Chewing her toast, she listened to the sounds of the tower. She could hear the waves lapping against the rocky beach, she could hear a few gulls calling. The electrical whir of the properly functioning refrigerator and the lack of radio or television. _Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos…_ Her mind returned as she heard the sound of water running through the pipes. Robin, up early for exercise? Starfire, getting a jump on earthly primping? Beast Boy had a nightmare? Cyborg… but he didn't really sleep, now did he? Who was showering was irrelevant; she had a mission.

Adding her dishes to the sink, she rinsed them and placed them in the dish washer. She then grabbed a few spray bottles from under the sink and took her sponge to wiping every surface and handle. Taking a paper towel and a bottle of blue, she set to cleaning the gargantuan screen in the living room. She took her sponge and disinfected the game controllers. Absent mindedly, she levitated the bags of stale popcorn over to the trash before turning to wipe the table's surface. She kicked one of the many remotes in her walking and shook her head as she hunted the others down and set them in a neat row on the table. Back to the kitchen, she took a mop and squirted some liquid on the floor. While her mop was still damp, she cleaned the entryway floor and the elevator. She returned to the kitchen and thought a moment before placing all her tools and chemicals back in their proper places. The pipes had quieted and whoever had been showering may soon come out.

This had been her ritual, beginning several months ago. In her mind, it was the least she could do for her fellow Titans, for her family. These people she kept foolishly close and yet treated with terrible coldness. Dismissing these thoughts, she hurried to her room to don a leotard and cloak.


	2. Endeavors: Culinary and Conversational

I'm actually stunned by my reviews-- all good? Why thank you all! Especially **Midori Aoi **for the extensiveness, and **Dark Shadow 01 **for being the first :) It's very encouraging; I've always been a bit unsure of my writing.

I'm looking for... some help? I've worked up til a 5th Chapter for this story, and I'd like another set of eyes and a different brain to go over them, see if it needs editing, rewording, if the plot is flowing OK, should anything be added or omitted. Just let me know if you're interested via email or a review, I'll get to you within a day.

* * *

When Raven returned to the table, there was one solitary occupant already there, with wet hair and a towel draped over uniformed shoulders. 

"Good morning, Raven."

"Good morning, Robin." Raven wasn't accustomed to having company this early. "What are you doing up at 5 in the morning?" Rarer yet was her time spent one on one with the Boy Wonder.

"Give me a little credit, Raven," he said, smiling lopsidedly. "I'm usually up by now, just locked up in the evidence room, getting a morning workout, or using the internet for this business we call hero. Today, however," he gestured to the paper in his hands. "I felt like using a more old fashioned approach. What's your excuse?"

"I'm usually up by now," she mumbled. _Just no one ever seems to know_, she thought with satisfaction. The kettle had kept her water hot, so she prepared another cup of tea and sat across from Robin. She watched his eyes dart from column to column, searching for connections only he could see. The crinkling sound the paper made as he turned its pages were a tolerated intrusion on Raven's silence.

His brow furrowed with more intensity with every section. Eventually, he wadded it up and threw it in the garbage, mumbling something about inferiority and resources. He slumped down in his chair and heaved a sigh. He looked around the kitchen, the living room, glanced at the numerous windows showcasing the lessening of the night sky. Then his eyes settled on Raven.

"So… how do you… what is there…" he said as the wheels in his brain struggled to create syntax. "I might as well put myself back in the evidence room. What do you do every morning around here?"

"I find ways to pass the time…" she said quietly. Her hands were warmed, wrapped around the mug. She allowed the silence to persist and her eyelids to droop.

Robin took advantage of her peace and indulged himself to study. Recently, it had become an odd impulse to seek out Raven, and until now he'd been able to overcome it. His eyes scrutinized her serenity, sitting in a near meditative state, somewhere not here with him. He noted the particular way her fingers wove around her mug. The simplicity of her hair style, her lack of make-up, her unassuming violet orbs looking right back—he was caught.

"Sorry, where are my manners? It's just… you, Raven, I…" Robin bit his lower lip, regretting the weakness that had lead him here. "I don't know you very well…"

"And you think you will find answers on the outside?" Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, but 'twere Fate so kind."

Robin mentally chastised himself for being indiscreet. Knowing of her father and the way she carried on existing, he should have gone about this differently. _Great, the one time I should've had a 'battle plan' and didn't…_

Raven, too, was kicking herself for being so unkind. Her face betrayed nothing, but her hand was the traitor. It reached out and touched his and she said, "But, hey, maybe you know more than you give yourself credit. You learned from the greatest detective of all, right?"

Robin faltered in his reply. "Right," he said with a crooked grin. He'd taken more from her statement than she'd intended; a challenge had been declared, a gauntlet thrown. He never backed down from a challenge.

* * *

The recent recession in crime had given Robin leisure time he was not accustomed to. He hated it; he felt without a purpose. He'd spent so much time thinking of higher causes, he hadn't given life basics much consideration. So, after relentlessly pursuing any lead and being told in triplicate what a fine job the Titans had done in ridding the city of evil so please leave the police force to its job, he sat listening to a cd, alone in his bedroom. He, Robin, Dick Grayson, had forgotten how to amuse himself. 

As music blasted out of his headphones, he let his mind return to Raven. "_But, hey, maybe you know more than you give yourself credit. You learned from the greatest detective of all, right?" _**Clearly** an invitation to investigate her. But, Raven was very private, secretive even, so this would not be so simple. Detective work.

Robin thought first of what facts he knew. "Her name is Raven and she's a teenage girl. What's her last name? Does she even have one? What's her age? I remember celebrating her birthday, but her age… it didn't come up. Ah, her father! An inter-dimensional demon that will apparently cause the team some trouble, but that's between just us…" Robin remembered that day, when Slade came back and forced Raven through that haunting experience. He was the one she relied on to carry her through it, to help carry the burden. "Hmm, she has psychic powers, meditates frequently. She drinks hot tea often. There's a mirror of particular importance to her… Are those all the facts I have? Geez, I better get cracking on my new case… er, go see what Raven's up to."

It was morning, once again, and he had taken the time to shower, but had then lazed around his room half dressed, considering his new task. Pulling on the rest of his uniform, he prepared himself mentally for the day to come.

In the kitchen, he found Raven once again sitting and quietly enjoying her tea, this time with a book. She didn't look up as he poured himself a glass of milk and sat across from her. He looked at the spine of her book—a book of Emily Dickinson's poetry. He cleared his throat, readying to initiate conversation.

"'Because I would not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me,'" Raven quoted. She had caught Robin off guard and kept her book in front of her face a moment longer to cover the smirk.

"They say she was crazy," Robin blurted in an effort to recover. "She would write her poems on bits of paper she would then roll up and stick in a box."

"Yes." Raven said this flatly. Robin looked expectant, but she didn't bite. She had barely completed her self-imposed chores—Beast Boy and Cyborg had indulged in a video game marathon and Starfire had made a multitude of 'champion's foods'—when she'd heard the water pipes cut off.

His mind raced, thinking out different scenarios for what he could do next. He landed a winner. "Ah, Raven, have you eaten, yet? No? Would you help me prepare waffles? Or anything, really, your choice?"

Raven eyed him suspiciously. What was he getting at? She rose from the table. "Waffles sound just fine." Robin also got out of his seat. Such an activity would be conducive to conversing, or at least observing her in everyday action. Lost in thought, he went to grab the waffle iron from off the top shelf just as Raven was. His body pressed against hers as he grabbed her wrist.

"Uh, Robin… you mind?" She felt her cheeks warm. Robin felt a jolt and snapped back to reality. He blushed and hurriedly apologized as Raven resumed action. He decided to move to gathering ingredients from the fridge.

He noticed the lack of blue fuzzies and the subtle stink he had come to expect. He noticed food properly wrapped and dated, the older items moved to the front in hopes of being eaten sooner. He grabbed the milk and the eggs and shut the door, wondering who had been on clean up last night.

Raven already had measured out the dry ingredients and was plugging in the electric beater. The lack of yuck in the fridge had piqued Robin's curiosity. He looked around at the counters and the floor—they seemed to sparkle. He regarded the way Raven was carefully working. He was beginning to see something…

"Robin, please set those down so I can use them."

"Ah, right, I'll measure the milk out." As he poured the milk in a cup, she cracked eggs in a small glass bowl. He watched her pick out a small piece of shell from the white. Adding it all to the dry ingredients, Robin obligingly beat the mix and Raven turned on the waffle iron. Before long, there was a sizable stack, and two sets of feet could be heard emerging from bedrooms—another set doubtlessly floating.

"I smell waffles!" Cyborg yelled cheerfully from the doorway to the living room. He hurried into the kitchen followed by Beast Boy and Starfire. "I'll set the table."

"I shall assist," Starfire said, and retrieved a carafe of orange juice from the refrigerator. "Oh? Where is the pudding of sadness?"

"It's gone at last? Star, you made that pudding over a month ago…" Beast Boy plopped down unceremoniously and propped his feet up on a nearby counter.

Raven nearly winced, but then remembered the care taken to disinfect every surface that he could've tread upon so that he could do just such a thing without worry of harming food. She inhaled as she turned around with the serving platter piled high. She lingered a moment, holding it up high, so the waffles could hide the slow grin spreading across her face. There before her was her family, having set the table, getting ready to eat food she'd prepared. Robin was setting down a bowl of cut strawberries in the middle of the table, smiling at her over his shoulder.

"Come on and sit down, Raven. Everything's ready…" he said and gestured toward the table and smiling friends. Robin waited for her to sit then he pushed in her chair and sat to her left. That last part was threatening to undo all her hard work to keep that smile from resurfacing.

* * *

Well, there it is, another chapter gone and done. So tell me what you think, good or bad, I'll take it all in. 

Obviously, this is a simple sort of story. I haven't really planned any fights, because I'm not really that great at writing action scenes, yet, so I'm trying to work aronud that for now. I had another version of chapter 2 that revolved around a fight, but it seemed too out of place, and elements were left as loose ends because_ I _wasn't even interested...

Thanks to all that have reviewed thus far. I'm not too busy, right now, so I'll take requests. If you think anything is lacking in this story, I definitely want to hear about it. Sometimes I don't get it right 'on paper' because I have it set in my head great already and I miss things...


	3. Scents and Sights

Thank you everyone for the great reviews, it's a real confidence builder, and the way things are going, ha, I kind of need it.

So it looks like I'm pretty much updating every Saturday, for anyone that cares to mark it down... Special Thanks to **SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin **for being a beta reader on this chapter! If anyone else wants to get in on being a beta reader, just let me know by review or email.

* * *

That afternoon was as uncannily quiet as the previous, ad infinitum. Starfire lay stretched on the couch staring wearily out the window. Like Robin, she'd forgotten about having fun in the Tower. She and Beast Boy had engaged in several video games, Cyborg had thrown up his arms in frustration after trying to explain his baby's engine, and she had tried every recipe she could with the available ingredients. She now sighed and stroked Silkie idly. She was left with her own thoughts.

"Beast Boy," she began. He was sitting at the other end of the couch playing a small portable game. "Did we not leave this room in a much less inhabitable condition last night?"

"Uhn."

"I do not recall it being restored to its current glory prior to our nightly retirement."

"Uhn."

"Who do you imagine—"

"Gah! I was so close!"

"Beast Boy, I am talking to you!" Starfire sat up quickly, sending Silkie rolling towards Beast Boy. He gave her a look of confusion and got up and moved to the chair. "I shall take these inquiries to Robin; _he_ always listens."

She never did find him, however. Robin was carrying out his secret mission. He had just finished going through some photo albums and was now seeking out Raven. He had every intention of not being seen. On a whim, the Boy Wonder decided first to check the gym and was rewarded.

Raven was listening to ambient music and was less a cape and boots. She sat on a mat and was going smoothly from one stretch to another. _Yoga_, Robin thought. _Well, she does rely a lot on meditation to keep her powers under control. _He was watching her routine from the gym control room; she wouldn't likely look up and notice him there. Her eyes remained closed for the entire session, her face completely serene, though still not smiling. Robin was impressed by how flexible she was.

He reflected on her fighting style against criminals. She used heavily her mystic abilities, not contact. Robin was finding himself hard pressed to think of many punches thrown at anyone but Beast Boy. Maybe, one day, he'd start her sparring, see where it leads.

As his eyes idled, his mind went back to the photo albums. In tune with her powers, her shadow in every shot seemed thicker than anyone else's, almost tangible. She was always just a bit distant from the main focus, standing off to the side, under a tree. She was not smiling in a single one. While there were countless pictures of combinations of his teammates in various states of contact—wrestling, hugging, bumping—none included a willing Raven. As in battle, she never initiated contact, not even affection. Robin thought on this, then turned away and left to do more sleuthing, which was really a shame because Raven was about to do gymnastic exercises.

Walking down the hall to his bedroom, he had to pass by Raven's. He paused in front of it, stuck in thought. He knew all the codes, so he could take advantage of her occupation and sneak a look. Of course, Raven was a very private, not to mention dangerous, person. He had a right as the team's leader to not have anything kept from him, however his position also obligated him to respect and trust his team. He settled for sighing in resignation and leaning his head against the heavy door, eventually slumping to the ground.

"I don't even know her favorite color," he said pessimistically. "I could assume it's black, or purple, but that's not knowing…"

"Yo, Rob, who you talking to, man?" Cyborg interrupted his solitude.

Robin smiled half-heartedly. "No one, I didn't think anyone was listening."

"You got something to talk about? I'm here." Cyborg eased onto the floor across from him. "Shoot."

"Can you promise to keep a secret?" The Boy Wonder was well aware of the close bond the Tin Man had with Raven. He treated her like his little sister; he would do anything to protect her.

Cyborg eyed his leader suspiciously. "This is about Raven, isn't it?"

"Your instincts are right on."

The older teen chuckled. "Instincts didn't have a thing to do with it. I found you monologue-ing in front of her room. Not to mention that display this morning."

"What about this morning?"

"The whole breakfast thing. You two standing there, cooking together—"

"It reminded me of parents cooking for kids after a sleepover," Beast Boy cut in. He was wandering around the tower, Game boy in tow, scarcely looking up from it. "You had this weird mom-and-pop vibe. It was creepy." He paused before going around a corner. He glared at Robin for a moment, and then continued walking.

"Where were we?" Cyborg was still looking where Beast Boy had been, concern on his face.

"I was skirting the real issue and you were telling me how nice breakfast was."

"Yeah, Raven makes a mean good waffle, but enough of that. You got something to say, so say it. I promise it won't go further than me, here and now."

"Alright, alright… Let me think of how I want to say it," he mumbled. He rubbed his chin and bit his bottom lip. "I… I don't know Raven. It's starting to bother me."

"So what's keeping you from getting to know her?"

"She is!" Robin burst out frustrated. "No, what I mean to say is, she's done such a thorough job of putting up barriers, I'm not sure how to go about it."

"Have you tried the direct approach? If Raven is anything, she's honest. She may seem scary, but…" Cyborg studied Robin's expression. "Just pay attention to her, Rob. You'll start to get her. It's slow and subtle, but she's not as mysterious as she's let you believe. She's part demon, but the other part is human." He began to get up and continue on his business. He'd been on his way to get Raven to help him with his car.

"Hey Cy, just one more thing..." Robin was getting ready to carry on himself. "Do you know what her favorite color is?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He chuckled.

"Please? I'll leave you alone after this."

"Alright, I'll tell ya." Cyborg paused, raising the anticipation. "Red." A simple, three-letter word, and he walked away.

Robin looked down at his uniform. _Red… huh…_

_

* * *

_

She quietly carried about her business, morning after morning. Several hours could go by taking care of her family in her particular fashion. She never thought to complain, never sought praise. She wanted her family to be less of this worry, to be as comfortable as she could indirectly help them to be. They deserved so much more from her, but this was a start.

One particular morning, she was doing the team's laundry—no small feat. Beast Boy nearly always had a food stain where there wasn't a grass stain by the time he passed his uniforms down the chute. Starfire was gentle to her uniforms, but there was the odd splotch of make-up or zorkaberry that proved to be difficult. Raven had become accustomed to checking all folds of Robin's uniform to ensure 'vital' evidence didn't get dropped down with it. Though Cyborg boasted little in clothing, he made up for it in shop towels.

Robin's was the last load to go into the wash that morning. Before adding the final suit to the machine, she paused, reminisced. She recalled the time he'd been away in some Asian country, seeking training. They'd all thrown away their senses and put on his uniform. She remembered the way the spandex hugged her, the way she was the one it best fit. The memory was so real she could smell it—then she came back to and realized she was nuzzling a tunic. She quickly threw it in the machine and shut the lid.

Raven did not very well care for the way she'd been slipping up, lately. There was no ill coming of these impulses, but still, it was unknown territory. She began folding the multiple skirts belonging to her alien friend. She used a different smelling fabric softener for each member. These smelled of vanilla and tangerines. Her green friend's smelled simply of country fresh cotton. What she added to their leader's load reminded her of fresh cut grass and sunshine.

Once each set was finished, four baskets were taken by darkness. Levitating cargo close behind, she trekked up from the laundry room to the main floor. Raven quietly placed a basket of clean laundry at the door of its rightful wearer. Satisfied that the job was done, she prepared another cup of tea and checked the clock. The sun would soon be rising, as would the other Titans, so she decided to take leave to the roof.

The sky was a mesmerizing mix of blues and pinks, not that Raven would notice. She sat 2 feet above the roof, eyes closed, chanting her mantra. The backs of her hands rested neatly against her knees, the bottom of her cape barely touched the ground. She could feel varying waves of emotion rising and settling within her mind. She could feel her heart tighten as certain emotions begged more attention. All were brought to terms.

When her soul ceased its wandering amongst other dimensions, she was able to feel the presence of another. She lowered her body to the ground, keeping her pose. He was right next to her, mimicking her ritual. He was wearing a fresh uniform.

"Et tú, Robin?" She was far from her center now, but maintained her appearance.

"I thought I might give it a shot; see what the fuss was about." He was nonchalant as usual. "Besides, the sunrise in and of itself has been spectacular."

"I'll take your word for it." She sonuded a bit irritated.

"You sure you won't crack even one lid? I'll make it worth your while…"

"How so?"

"I'll take you to a movie, your choice, my treat. Anything at all, I just wish you could see how beautiful it is."

She was tempted by the offer. A night out of the tower, and there was a new show out she was interested in.

"Just look before it's gone!"

She grudgingly obeyed. What she saw did cause her breath to get stuck in her throat, if only for a moment. The sky was quite pink by now, the ocean reflecting it perfectly. The gentle breeze brought small waves onto the shore of their island.

"Thank you, Robin," she mumbled simply.

"So, do you want to eat here, or am I treating you to that, too?"

"Pardon me?"

"You know, with the movie?"

"Robin, this isn't a date, is it?" Rave turned to him, now, serious.

"Well, no, but what would be the problem if it was? Am I that horrible to be around?"

"Cut to the chase." Her tone had turned quite annoyed.

"I just want to spend more time with you, get to know you better, like I know everyone else."

"Robin, I've been with you from the beginning, before all the others—"

"That's part of my concern. I know the least about you. Cyborg knows more than I do. Look, it's been a long time since it was just us…" He let that hang in the air.

"Sounds a bit to me like you're jealous." She got up to leave and turned to say something, but changed her mind and continued down the stairs.

Robin kicked a rock off the roof, down into the waves. _Am I jealous?

* * *

_

Ah, Chapter 3, up and ready. Getting better? Could use improvement? I'm open to suggestion, especially since the fourth and fifth chapters I've worked up are feeling like they're stale or stagnating. Maybe I've just read them too many times, myself... Why don't I just go ahead and post them, I assume you ask? Because the week in between updates let me re-write to my heart's content. In fact, I'm writing an entirely new chapter four right now... will just bump back the two I've already written, though..._  
_


	4. Cooking and clues

I realize that in the show, Raven says her favorite color is blue. I want you all to think of the as a cover up! She only says it's her favorite so people won't know she favors such a strong, passionate color. To me, Raven is secretly afraid of being judged to be anything but cool and collected, so a few white lies and she keeps her secret self a secret, gosh darn it. Admitting she likes red would be admitting she likes the color of her demon father's skin, when in fact it just happens that she likes it because... maybe I'll write a shortie chapter about this...

In any case, this was a pain. I had a different chapter 4 sitting around on my harddrive for weeks, then it dawned on me that there needed to be more... something. Just more story before it felt right going to the events of what is tentatively chapter 5. It felt rushed, harried, even. I may need to rework it, too, since I haven't read it since writing this one.

KittyKatMeow-chan and SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, thank you both for beta-ing. The alternative chapter will be posted as a later chapter! And, to make up for this chapter being regrettably short, I think I'll post up a little interlude mentioned before during the week.

* * *

Starfire stirred a pot filled with sweet smelling ooze. Around her were various implements of destruction—rubber scrapers, whisks, mixing bowls—all coated in some sort of filth. She hummed softly, off key, an epic ballad about a great warrior. The pantry had been replenished as had her spirit. 

Robin came into the kitchen, panting, feet dragging, looking to refill his water bottle. He looked at the pots and pans piled up in the sink, looking for a way to the faucet. He sighed, defeated. A prodigious task indeed awaited the Titan charged with cleaning the impressive stacks of equipment.

"So, watcha makin', Star?"

"I am doing the experimenting. Creating my own recipe, sounds ambitious, does it not?"

Against his better judgment, Robin inquired to the contents of the rather large stock pot.

"I began with that small pot there and was making toasty nuts and added the butter and sugar. I then thought it would be nice to add raspberries and chopped apples. Then I noticed that my creation was quite overtaking that which contained it, so I moved to a larger pot and added quite a bit of molasses. It was smelling quite delicious and I set another pot of zorka berries to heat. Then I thought how wonderful they would be combined and…." She rambled on excitedly while her brew steamed ominously and unabated. Robin just smiled and nodded, thinking about his dry and scratchy throat.

Robin had been running laps around the tower, liking to bound across the large rocks scattered around the shoreline. The humidity this close to the water had kept him constantly spritzed with refreshing dew. He hadn't sweated much, such an easy pace he'd kept. That just wouldn't do. He decided to go get a 'real workout' and put his antiperspirant to the test. At the very least, the gym had its own water fountains and he could finally quench his thirst.

"Well, that sounds great, Star, let me know how it turns out."

"Are you continuing your working out, Friend Robin?" He'd intended to go alone, but deceiving the glowing girl felt like pissing in front of a nun. "Wonderful, I join you. Endeavors culinary are quite exhausting and I would like very much the freedom of my muscles." She turned off the burner and put a lid on the concoction with a bit of trepidation but quickly turned her attentions to getting to workout.

Robin looked over his shoulder, a bit concerned by the mess she'd left in her wake. He put it to the back of his mind, however, thinking to himself that he should have a talk with Starfire about this naïve excess.

* * *

Raven lay on the couch, idly reading. She was reading Catch-22 though her thoughts were elsewhere. Catch-22 is wonderful for this reason; the early chapters so haphazardly even manically written, you need not be immersed. _Ah, Yossarian, you poor mess of a man…_

She heard bits and pieces of Robin and Starfire conversing in the kitchen. She was well aware of the catastrophe her golden friend had made of the kitchen. Upon hearing the list of ingredients, she silently applauded the girl for staying to the sweet side of the palette. And for not adding mustard. Perhaps she could be bothered to taste it after all?

Raven thought they would never leave. She mentally tracked them as they made their way to the workout room. Cyborg and Beast Boy were out teaching youth soccer, or something of that nature. She was left to herself and her task.

Leaving Chief White Halfoat drunk, she carefully marked a page and set the novel on the table. She put herself in the kitchen and surveyed the damage. She then retrieved a small plastic bag and a butter knife. She set the various pots, pans, spoons, rubber scrapers, all things Starfire had brought into her hot little hands, on the counter beside the sink. She ran the water till hot and set the utensils to soak a bit in soapy water. On the other side of the sink, she turned on the hose and blasted a few pans with the scalding water. Some of them set free the gooey junk stuck in their bottoms, some insisted the wanted that scorched crap to stay put. Slowly, carefully, she persuaded the gunk to come off with the butter knife. With a gloved hand, she put the scraps in the plastic bag and into the trash, fearing the garbage disposal would not very easily handle it.

Starfire's creation she actually let alone, though she was tempted to do man things. She could have thrown it out, put it in a storage container, even tasted it and fix it to make it edible. But no, she let it be. No need to raise too many eyebrows.

Before leaving the kitchen, she set out a package of dried pasta noodles and a can of tomato paste and one of diced tomatoes beside the stove. That should be suggestion enough, in case anyone thought better of ordering out tonight.

One last thing caught her eye: Robin's empty water bottle. She picked it up from the floor, vaguely recalling it getting lost in all the filthy dishes. A translucent red bottle with a black top and spout. A cord to be worn around the wrist lay slack from the cap and a yellow 'R' dangled from that.

She stared at it with a strange fascination_. His lips… right there…_ She mused to herself. Her finger lingered for a moment on the spout, tracing the circumference. She then shook her head with force and stood up straight as a bolt. In the sink, she scrubbed it and her hand harshly. The bottle she refilled and placed in the fridge.

Returning to the couch and her black comedy, she sat down hard. She tapped the cover of the book and her foot to a quick rhythm. Letting the book fall to the floor, she put her head in her hands and groaned. Her fingers then ran back and ruffled her hair. Raven retrieved her book from the floor and left the common room.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Robin wandered into the common room to watch the local news. Beast Boy and Cyborg, however, had beat him to the punch and were using the big screen for a robot battle. He smiled resignedly, even chuckled a bit seeing Cyborg's tongue poking out of his mouth, and turned instead to the kitchen. He remembered leaving his water bottle there, earlier. 

He walked into a pristine place. No crummy dishes, nothing out of place. Only Starfire's strange goo still lingered on the stove top, but it was benign. Not thinking too much of it, his eyes grazed the surfaces for his water bottle. He checked the floor, the dishwasher, and finally the fridge. Success.

"Hey, thanks for cleaning up after cooking, Starfire. And thanks for refilling my water bottle." Hey, maybe the redhead was more together than she appeared.

"You are most welcome, Friend Robin, though I do not know what you are referring to. I did none of the cleaning up and was not aware of the deficit you bottle of water was experiencing." This she told him from the floor of the common room, where she lay examining the pages of a large book. "I have been searching for the Waldo since I cleansed my body after the working out."

Robin considered this. "What about you, Cyborg? Beast Boy?"

The young changeling let out a cackle. "Dude, do you really think I would risk my hands trying to clean up after one of Starfire's misadventures in cooking? Tchya right!"

"Sorry, man, just got the new patch for this game. Been puttin' it to the test ever since we got back from the Y."

Robin took a long sip of icy cool aqua and mulled through his memory. He seemed to recall a barely visible tuft of purple hair draped over the arm of the couch when he'd looked back at the mess.

"What do you guys think of spaghetti and tomato sauce for dinner, tonight?"

* * *

Is the story flowing ok so far? Not rushed, not too slow? I'm not going to try and drag things out or bait you until I get X amount of reviews, so don't worry :P I think writers that do that are jerks. 

Anything at all, I'd love to hear from you!

Oh! And I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving! If you don't celebrate that holiday, then... I hope you had an extraordinary Thursday! Haha, and maybe some pie. Having pie on an average day can make it awesome in no time, easy...


	5. Interlude: color

This is not an official chapter, just an interlude to make up for the last chapter being short... It was fun to write nn

* * *

Colors… so many of them, so many associations, insinuations. Whether it be natural or through conditioning, we as humans take away the same impressions when color is a key component.

One's color of choice says a lot about them, or so the general consensus seems to be. If you like yellow, you are said to be quite cheerful, if you like green, you are nurturing, if you like black, you are quite blasé.

I like red, but that's very much a secret. It lets on too much that I like to keep hidden. It's a tell that I have passion, that I feel. I have a temper that rages, though I keep it well under wraps. Red, the color of hate, love, blood...

The Devil himself is often depicted as having red skin. My father himself, the devil of my life, the devil to many dimensions, has red skin. When he takes me over, brushing aside the many years I have labored to keep him out like so many cobwebs, my eyes glow a menacing red. It's a warning, like a traffic light, "Stop, danger ahead…"

The color of many a harlot's lips is of this same color. The color of sinful love, the color that seduces men of weak moral fiber. The color many God-fearing women don on occasion to incite such lust in their rightfully wedded. The color wrapped around so many heart-shaped boxes in February.

Rosy cheeks, from the cold. Blush, from a lover's touch. Glowing marks from a slap, a pinch, a punch. Flushed from the heat or a hearty laugh. Deep red flowing forth from a nasty wound, or barely seeping from a paper cut. Blood shot eyes, nervously bitten lips, woefully sunburned backs.

I am all these. Daughter of a demon, temptress, extant. A frenzied tempest of feeling, want, impulses. I feel the indignant fury when friends so dear are attacked and dishonored. I feel my heart swell with affection when a compliment is unexpectedly thrust upon me. In my secret heart, I have a wild, reckless victory dance. I perform it at the end of every battle, every morning we all wake up satisfied with the lives we lead, every meal that is concluded without an argument. All this, however, is under layers of pretense and practice.

I am the strong, stoic mystic. I am the center of calm in this tumultuous life we five insist upon carrying out. Even in the dull days, when we do not live so furiously, I continue to hold up my position. I read books to live vicariously through the characters and know what it is to feel freely. I cannot let my friends, who depend on my steady hand and unwavering disposition, that I feel panic, fear. I cannot let them know that I weep without abandon—at least, I would were I not so practiced. I cannot show affection, or worry, so often they are misinterpreted as weaknesses.

I will not allow myself the indulgence of favoring one over any other, for that could become a liability. To be sure, I am also quite afraid of the rejection. I will not offer up my heart to be broken. Love of that kind is distanced from my heart and my head, so skillfully that I take a twisted satisfaction in thinking I would not recognize it should it surface. And I will not deal with that that which will not make itself known to me.

I will not let them know of my crimson self. So I lie. I little white lie to keep up appearances, to further deceive those that trust me with their lives. "My favorite color is blue," I say. Ah, that's better suited to this persona I've worked so hard to upkeep. Blue, a calm, serene color. Very nearly mysterious. Blue will do just fine.

I do not decorate my Sunday with extra cherries to satisfy aesthetics in favor of what I truly am. I do not stare fascinated at a certain female teammate's hair, cascading in a ruby fall. I do not envy my leader's uniform, worn so boldly in the dark alleys, flying in the face of stealth. Well, I don't _overtly_ envy it.

There are a few ways I allow myself to hold close the coveted vermillion. The red jewels on my person, a comfort to see. My hair and eyes, both violet. Why does violet count? Well, of course, it's a mix of blue and red. A hint of my true self bleeding through the façade. A skillful eye with notice many of my books have ruddy spines or jackets—I'll never admit that I wait for an edition that has such a trivial quality.

* * *

Ha, um, sorry this didn't get posted Wednesday, I had a little change in my plans... ended up spending the day with a guy that would later drive me to the show and get jealous when a guitarist hit on me.

If you haven't heard of Nightmare of You, give them a listen! They're really a pleasure and a great bunch of guys to boot. The (International) Noise Conspiracy headlined the show, but I was there for Nightmar of You... I totally couldn't understand INC, I think the venue was too small and garbled their voices...


	6. Of Movie Outings and Small Favors

Another chapter, yaaay! I'm especially glad I didn't go ahead and post this one last week, because I came up with a grand change just Thursday night, and boy howdy... Well, I've changed the way I'm handling the story in a big way. A lot of it is thanks to you readers and reviewers. When I started this story, way back during the summer, I was just satisfying an urge to get this out, and just get it to a certain point before my brain let go of it. Now that I know there are people out there enjoying this, I'm enjoying it better myself, and I felt that I should put more effort into it and give y'all what you deserve. A well thought out story rather than a thrown together one, though still of the same plot and general story line, is much preferred, right?

Oh, and I worked up another Interlude chapter, should I end up posting another short chapter at some point or if I don't get around to doing a full one around Christmas time. If I end up not getting to post it as an Interlude in this story, I'll post it as a one-shot while it's still pertinent. Aw, heck, maybe I'll just post it some week just for S&G.

Super special thanks to **KittyKatMeow-chan** and **SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin**, again for beta reading. You're always awesome for this, especially this round...

* * *

"Now, you're going to have to use two wrenches to get that off. Right, you got it, one to hold one nut, one to turn the other, you'll figure it out. Here, don't forget your goggles; oil could spill out once you get the tube off." Cyborg had finally gotten Raven down to the garage for another of his wild projects. He'd bought an old muscle car and wanted very badly to restore it to former glory and beyond. First thing was to remove the old engine and install one of his own. 

"Robin's taking me to a movie, tonight," Raven told him between grunts.

Cyborg had stopped whatever he had been dong to weigh this statement, then went on. "Is that so? D'you know what you're going to see?"

"Cyborg, that isn't exactly why I brought it up."

"You don't say?"

"Ok, you know something, spill."

"Hey, what I know I got in confidence. Just like what you're about to tell me."

She let out a sigh, and preceded much to her chagrin. "We've just been acting a little strange around each other, lately. I'm not sure what to make of it, if anything at all."

"Is it significant to you? May just be what you make of it."

"Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but it feels like there's something afoot."

"Negative or positive?"

"You know I don't like dealing in absolutes…"

"Then just go along for the ride, enjoy yourself. And don't worry about Starfire; I'll take care of her." Raven continued about her task unabated, though her mind was a bit more active. Cyborg let the silence settle comfortably, then added, "They aren't dating." Raven dropped a wrench, Cyborg cracked a wide smile.

* * *

That evening, while the rest of the team sat watching a comedian in a one hour special, Raven and Robin made eye contact. Robin shot his thumb toward the door, Raven nodded ascension. Together they got up, she setting her book aside, he waving half-heartedly good-bye to the others. Without saying a word, they made their way out the door. 

"What was that all about?" Beast Boy was facing backwards on the couch, an eyebrow cocked at the door. "Where are they going?"

"And why are we not accompanying them?" Starfire looked very perplexed. They both looked at Cyborg expectantly, as he did not seem surprised at all.

He sighed. "They're just going to a movie, that's all."

Starfire jumped off the couch. "Oh, a movie outing! Then hurry, we must—Cyborg, please remove your hand from my femur, or would you like to partake in the joy that is flying?"

"I won't let go unless you agree to stay put. We're staying home tonight."

"But we—"

"No, sit." As Cyborg commanded, Starfire sank down into the couch again, next to where Robin had been sitting. She became quite sullen. Cyborg began to chuckle. "This guy is funny."

"Cyborg, what's going on with those two?" Beast Boy spat out.

"It's none of our business."

"I'm making it my business!" When he didn't receive a reply, he stalked off to his room.

Meanwhile, the two birds stood in front of a box office, looking at the movie listings. They debated over what to see, though Robin admitted to telling Raven it was her choice. He tried to talk her out of it, but she really wanted to see the new Japanese horror flick.

"Why not a comedy, or maybe an action movie? Does it have to be that one?"

"Yes, it does. And you said…"

"I know what I said; I just didn't think it would turn out like this."

"Suck it up, Boy Wonder. Let's get our tickets."

A few civilians gave the pair sideways glances, some even snapped pictures. In light of this, Raven rushed them from the box office to their assigned theater. Quickly, she found seats far enough from the screen not to break their necks.

"You can let go of that, now." Robin smiled and pointed at his wrist. All the while she'd been tugging him behind her. She dropped the wrist like a rabid badger.

"I… sorry." She was saved from her blush being seen by the dimming lights. Raven couldn't take her eyes off the screen once the movie began. The story enthralled her, and she was even startled a few times.

Robin, on the other hand, wasn't sure if he'd sleep that night. He was frightened and nearly jumped out his skin several times. He was biting his lip from the suspense. A few times, he caught himself tugging on Raven's cloak like a security blanket. Thankfully, she never noticed.

The movie ended and the house lights came on. Raven smiled, satisfied by the ambiguous ending, and Robin blinked, not believing they could end it like that. Then, Raven turned and said to him in a mocking sort of way, "You can let go of that, now."

"Wha—oh," Robin gasped when she brought him back to reality. He'd been squeezing her hand for quite some time, and wasn't sure how to act now that he'd been caught.

Rave eased her hand away from his. "That's better… maybe I'll get some blood back in it before we get home."

"Home? Already?" Robin was trying to reassert his composure. "Wouldn't you like to grab something to eat?"

"You just aren't ready to go back home to an island after seeing that house in the movie."

Robin blushed and averted his gaze. "Just humor me tonight." He got up and made for the exit and she quietly followed.

* * *

They stopped in an all night diner before going home. There, Robin learned many things about her in conversation. When you began to say something that interested her, her hand would brush her hair behind her right ear. She really wanted a cat, but had never tried to introduce one into their home because of their manic roommates and hectic, crime-fighting lives. When other girls would have giggled liltingly, she had a raspy sort of chuckle. She may not wear make-up, but her hands and nails were immaculate. He wondered if maybe her feet would match up. They'd spent hours talking like this over bottomless cups of coffee. 

The waitress brought them a fresh fruit plate they'd ordered as the next day inched ever closer. Raven grabbed a deep red strawberry and took a bite. A sound of satisfaction escaped her throat.

"Is it really that good?"

"Strawberries are my favorite fruit," she told him when she finished chewing.

"Really? You always struck me as a grape sort of person," he replied.

"Why?"

"I guess all the purple and black on your person, I just associated the darker fruit with you."

"That would be your mistake brave leader. You over thought that one big time. Starfire doesn't dress like a French's bottle, but it's still her favorite thing in the world."

"So why do you like strawberries so much?" He himself grabbed a small bunch of grapes and popped one in his mouth.

"Well, their taste, it's a pleasant balance of sweet and tart." She paused before revealing the next truth. The caffeine was loosening her lips quite a bit; she couldn't remember ever being this talkative. "Plus, red is my favorite color."

"Is that so," he mused. "Like the bright red of that particular one you're eating?"

She paused, chewing.

"No, more like your uniform." _And because of your uniform—wait, Raven..._

_So I wear her favorite color on a day to day basis…_Conversation continued unabated and Robin committed every word to memory. Eventually, though, they decided it was time their waitress got her break, and they paid with a hefty tip.

They arrived home close to the time Raven was usually getting out of bed. Cautiously, they entered, not making a sound, turning on lights as they went. Though their extended midnight snack had settled his nerves quite a bit, Robin still didn't want too many shadows around him. He'd toured the nocturnal world of evil for many years with the caped crusader, but fictional zombies got under his skin.

Raven looked around at the damage and felt the impulse to set about her work. There were empty pizza boxes as well as Chinese food containers. The various remotes were scattered as well as the couch pillows and cushions. Starfire had left the kitchen a disaster trying to create a dish to relieve her mind. There was a multitude of cups waiting to be cleaned as well as soda cans waiting to be disposed of.

"Wow, they sure can do some damage."

"I wonder who was assigned," he said, more to himself than anything. "It's a wonder the Tower stays so clean."

"Robin it's irrelevant. Shall we take care of this, or turn in?" Raven bit her lip, hoping he would be tired and leave it to her.

"Turn in," he replied. He went and inspected the kitchen. From the corner of his eye, he saw her levitating the couch into order. "I'll have a talk with the rest of the team in the morning."

Raven got a glass of water and slowly sipped it. She kept a steady eye on her leader.

"Tired?" Robin asked, yawning himself. She nodded, her shoulders sagged and she began to move toward the door. They walked together to their bedrooms.

"I had a lovely time, thank you, Robin," she said as she continued down the hallway. He watched her move farther from him, feeling as if things had ended rather abruptly. The palm of his hand ached with loneliness and his lips wanted to be chased. He shook his head fiercely and quickly entered his room. He would be sitting down and writing a list before heading definitively to bed.

Meanwhile, Raven was in her room, tossing that day's leotard and cloak into the hamper. Quickly, she put on a cotton tank and matching pants. She had an Augean task set to her. Luckily, she was a Titan.

* * *

All through breakfast, Starfire had been quiet, infrequently glancing at the door. Beast Boy was equally quiet, but more brooding, shoving spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth and crunching loudly. Cyborg made futile attempts at conversation, ultimately resorting to gulping down his food quickly just to get away from the table. As they each set their dirty dishes by the sink, Starfire finally broke. 

"Did Robin not return home last night?"

"Yeah, and what about Raven?"

"Is there something we have done to earn scorn or distrust? I do not like what is going on."

"Guys, relax. There's nothing going on we should worry about. I know they came home last night, it's on the sensors. Starfire, no one has done anything wrong, especially you. And you, Beast Boy, what's with the chip on your shoulder?"

"What chip? Can't a guy be crabby without some one getting on his case? Maybe things just haven't gone my way for a while and I'm getting sick of it. I'm going to my room." True to his word, he stormed out of the kitchen and shortly after a door slammed.

"Cyborg, you are quite perceptive. I did not see any salty potato derived snacks on his shoulder."

"What? No, what I meant was…" This lead to a long explanation that ended in Cyborg throwing his hands up and telling Starfire to go find Robin. While she was off exploring his usual haunts, Cyborg made off to play a videogame.

Robin walked into the kitchen, having slept just long enough to feel refreshed. "Are Beast Boy and Starfire around?"

"Nope, they both wandered off about 20 minutes ago. Why, something up?"

"Well, I wanted to talk about the state that the Tower was left in last night, but I see you all came to your senses this morning. It looks much better now."

"What are you talking about, man?"

Robin poured himself a cup of coffee which he poured down the sink soon after smelling it—it had turned bitter from sitting out so long. He paused thoughtfully at the sink before turning and beginning a cup of tea brewing. He left it on the table and joined Cyborg on the couch.

"So how was your date?" Cyborg asked.

"Wasn't a date," Robin yawned. "But we had fun, I learned a lot about her."

"Anything happen I should be beating you up over? What was with you two coming in so late?"

"Cy, nothing happened, honest. We went to a movie, we had some coffee, got caught up in conversation."

"Now what?" Cyborg turned serious, probing with his eyes. Robin nodded and took his chin in his hand.

"I like her, a lot. I want to do it again. I want it to be a real date, next time."

"Do you think she was interested? Do you think she'll be able to handle it?"

"I don't know, but I'll find out. I'll take it slow, I'll be patient." Cyborg laughed heartily at that last part.

"Not exactly your forte, but OK, give it a shot. I'll be watching you, though… And I think you should talk to Star—"

"Stop stop stop, just hold it; she and I never dated. Never."

"Then why did she and everyone else get the impression you were sweet on her?"

"Well, I know I was doting, but I considered myself responsible for her care. I was her Ambassador of Earth, trying to get her used to our ways, helping her adjust."

"Hey, I'm just trying to keep things friendly while there's nothing else to take our minds off it."

Robin stared down at his shoes and sighed. "Fair enough." He got quiet and seemed to sink just a little deeper into the couch cushion.

At this time, Raven came quietly into the room, down from the roof. She'd elected to meditate rather than sleep. She felt equally relaxed. Robin and Cyborg didn't seem to notice as she cleared away the breakfast dishes. Seeing the tea had finished steeping, she removed the tea strainer and set the mug on a small tray with a small spoon, a few sugar cubes, and a honey bear.

She walked over to the living room and set the tray in front of Robin and grabbed her book off the coffee table. She sank back into the overstuffed chair and opened her copy of The Stranger by Albert Camus. She was just tuning out the tapping of Cyborg on the game controller when something far less habitual interrupted her consciousness.

"It's for you, Raven." She looked up with a questioning expression. "I made the tea for you, but thank you for bringing it to me."

Cautiously, she set down her book and sat on her knees by the table so that she might prepare her tea. She tried to ignore the feeling of the masked eyes boring holes into her head. A spoonful of honey was her satisfaction.

"Why did you do that?" Again, a quizzical look, this time for Cyborg. "You set all that up real nice and brought it in here like… like… a servant."

"I was feeling pretty zen after my meditation today, I suppose?" The corner of her mouth twitched a bit, a mockery of a smile. Inwardly, she'd winced at being likened to a servant. "What's wrong with spreading some good karma? Why not ask Robin why he made it for me?"

Cyborg was on the verge of saying "Because I already know—be cause he likes you!" but Robin interjected, "Likewise, good karma. Just thought you might appreciate it."

Slowly, she brought it to her mouth and tasted it. The temperature was perfect, and the warmth from the mug felt so good… Still sitting on the floor, she turned her doe eyes to the Boy Wonder, who himself seemed lost in thought. "I… do appreciate it. Thank you."

Serenely, she watched a small, Italian plumber jump around their television screen and slide down green pipes. All the while, she felt Robin staring at her, though due to his mask, she could not verify this. She didn't know why, but she didn't want to meet that gaze, so her head stayed determinedly facing the TV until she finished her sweet drink. She then carried it all back to the kitchen, doing away with it properly, then returned to the chair and her book. Then he did it again.

"Raven, won't you come sit with us on the couch?"

"Yeah, girl, no one else in here. No need to sit by yourself!"

"But I'm perfectly comfortable…"

"What's wrong, Raven, don't you like us? Think we'll bite?" Cyborg grinned at her and chuckled. "Or maybe you'd like us—" A small pillow glowed black and muffled him rightly. It fell by the wayside, returning to red, a thing noted by all.

"That's quite enough, Cy, I'll come sit with you two..."

The two boys exchanged a victorious smirk before Cyborg turned his attentions back to the oversized screen. Raven claimed the corner and snuggled into the crook beside the arm. Her legs and feet curled up beside her automatically. With the utmost subtlety and ever so nonchalantly, Robin rested a hand upon her foot. Raven raised the book ever so slightly.

* * *

Yay! Another chapter down. Are they getting easier to swallow? Or perhaps you'd like a spoonful of sugar to help it down? Sorry folks, but my sugars are for the buy next door, only XD Anyway, the book I mentioned is a real one, and I suggest reading it as soon as you can. I know it's the winter break, soon, so you know you'll have free time! No excuses, man, you shouldn't only read amatuer stuff like this all the time, cough up the $10 American for some published work... just saying... 

Oh, and some of you are looking forward to a Starfire confrontation, which is coming! But but but! Why? Why not Beast Boy? He's on edge, he's ready to go. Why hasn't anyone mentioned a Beast Boy throw down? Not that I'm complaining, I know what's going to happen and have total control, anyway...


	7. Confrontations and conservatories

I'm very much the sorry for posting a day late, but I was having an unplanned night with the boyfriend. He's so spontaneous and sweet! If he hadn't had a soccer game this morning, we'd just be getting to sleep... Haha, I bet you expected "still sleeping."  
In any case... thanks again for all the reviews and to my beta readers. I'm actually typing to you from the bath, so I'll just sink back in, now...

* * *

Raven lay on her bed, mentally and bodily exhausted. She recapped on the previous night's events. She'd gone out on the town with Robin, against her better judgment, and had a surprisingly good time. She found that enough caffeine becomes like a truth serum to her. Robin had almost discovered her long kept secret. 

And how did she feel throughout the ordeal? Really, her feelings ranged from contentment to happiness and a few moments of bliss. She liked the way she felt around him. He made her feel this way. He made her feel.

More importantly, she had let herself feel. She'd been cautious and careful, but there had not been a single mishap in her aura. She had a few personal misgivings, a few questions. Why him? Why now? Should she act on it?

She knew through empathetic means that Starfire felt strong things for their leader. She also knew Robin did not return those feelings, despite appearances. She also knew Beast Boy had more than friendly feelings for her, though they had dissipated while Terra had been around, then returned after Fate dealt a stony hand. She didn't appreciate being his fall back crush, not that she'd ever even considered giving him a chance. She had a very good reason for that—she just didn't like him that way.

She had felt something special with Robin from the moment she'd met him. She'd also been enough of a control freak about her emotions that she had battered and bruised that feeling to inconsequence. She had been resigned to a life of justice and fending off the will of her father. Those days seemed to be fast fading, what with the lack of crime. Still, she'd been quick to dismiss the feeling as admiration and loyalty.

She sat back and watched as he interacted with the rest of the team, patiently waiting her turn. She had watched him attain highs and silently celebrated with him from afar, and waited out his dark lows wanting to reach out and console him. She remembered feeling a dull ache as he moved mountains to accommodate Starfire. There was a reason he was the one Raven had depended on during her birthday disaster. Both creatures of the night, she knew him without having to know much about him. And, deep down, she was counting on him knowing her in that sense, too.

She drew herself up into a lotus pose. _Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos… I love Robin…_ Her lips curled up in spite of themselves. _I love Robin…and the knowledge is enough…Azarath Metrion Zinthos…_

* * *

The next morning, she rose per her routine. She shook the bed-head out and wiped away the traces of sleep in her eyes. She put on her slippers and robe, deciding that today she would have hot raspberry tea. 

Today, there was little to do in the living room and the kitchen, so she turned her attentions instead to the work out room and the labs. She carried with her glass cleaner for the monitors, compressed air for the computers, and sanitizer for the gym equipment.

While in the gym, she checked the hinges and springs of anything mechanical. She oiled and lubricated such things that needed it, organized medicine balls and dumbbells. There was plenty to do in upkeep for Cyborg's inventions—the attacking robots and discus launchers—but she limited herself to dusting, as she knew he took particular pride in caring for them himself.

She worked at a steady pace and eventually found satisfaction. She returned to the living room and sat softly on the sofa. She was reaching for the remote when she felt the presence of another.

"What are you drinking today?" Raven moved her head slowly around to find Robin sitting at the table with two mugs and what she assumed was a kettle of boiling water.

"I'll have raspberry tea," she spoke in a tone reflecting her contentment and pleasure at this surprise. She kept watching him as he picked out a flavored tea and brought over the service.

He looked her over, hair still slightly disheveled, cotton robe wrapped around her body, left over right. He was reminded, briefly, of kimonos. Bruce had taken him to Japan, long ago, and they'd gone to a festival. The women there had moved with such grace, beauty, dignity. He was reminded, elliptically, of the person sitting across from him. "Your pajamas too risqué to walk around in?"

Raven tugged at the sleeves of her house robe. The acrid smell of antibacterial cleaner reached her nose, and she wondered that Robin couldn't smell it as well. She pulled the sides together a bit higher on her neck. "Something like that." She removed the tea strainer and reached for the sugar bowl. Actually, she wasn't wearing pajamas.

He raised his own cup to his lips and took a long sip of the warm tea. Robin gave her his winning smile, but then it softened into one just for her. The toaster glowed black and threw itself to the floor. _Come on, Raven, toughen up._ "You want to help me make breakfast, again?"

She gave him a look that said 'yes.' He got up and went for the fridge. He brought out eggs, milk, sausage, and cheese. He set these down and got tortillas out of the bread box. He paused and looked to Raven. She was getting a bowl and had set a frying pan on the stove.

"Yes, Robin?" She'd felt his eyes on her back.

"Where do we keep potatoes?" He looked embarrassed, not knowing the way around his own kitchen. Raven eyed him curiously. "I thought we'd have breakfast burritos."

"They're in the drawer by your knees." She began cracking eggs into a bowl. "How do you want the potatoes prepared?"

Robin set down two potatoes and one Vidalia onion. "I thought we might sauté these together. Country fried, I think it's called."

"We're a little north of the Mason-Dixon Line, but I think I can handle it. Will you scramble the eggs? I'll dice the potato and onion."

She pushed her sleeves up as she washed the potatoes. She heard the tinking noise of the eggs being beaten stop and she felt hands on her shoulders.

"You might have an easier time with this off—no matter what's underneath," and he began to pull down with gentle pressure. In the time it took to drop the tubers, he had already unveiled bare shoulders. Her now free hands flew to her shoulders and she spun around.

"Robin, no," she said, rattled. The hot water handle flew off the sink. He stared back at her, dumbstruck. "I, uh, I'm not… I'm going to go get dressed; you can handle this for a few minutes…" A black circle opened under her and she sank into the floor.

"She wasn't… she was… I'll get some pliers for that."

* * *

Once Raven returned, dressed simply in a cotton tank and yoga pants, and Robin had managed to get the hot water turned off, they nodded at each other and set about their tasks. He scrambled the eggs as they'd agreed, then put them in a covered dish on the table. He then began cooking the sausage, breaking it into small pieces. Having finished dicing, Raven was sautéing the potatoes and onions in butter. It wasn't until Raven was placing the tortillas in the microwave that a word was spoken. 

"I'm sorry," said Robin, bending down to pick up the forgotten toaster.

"Don't mention it," Raven mumbled. "Seriously."

They continued setting the prepared fillings in bowls on the table, though the silence was a bit less awkward. Without their notice, the three other Titans had taken places behind the bar, watching the scene play out. Starfire grew incensed by the comfort level between the two, and by the looks Robin kept throwing her. Beast Boy had been grimacing for a while, yet.

"Dear Robin! Wondrous morning to you!" Starfire called loudly over to them. Robin looked up from putting serving utensils into the dishes. "Please, I shall assist in setting the places for sitting." She flew over to the cabinets and brought out plates. As she set them on the table, she eyed Robin as he whispered something in Raven's ear and she nodded.

"So, what have we got here, today?" Cyborg plopped down into his chair. "I see eggs, sausage, potatoes, cheese, tortillas…"

"Breakfast burritos, Cy." Raven was taking her place at the table. "We left the meat separate so Beast Boy couldn't have much to complain about."

"Gee, thanks," Beast Boy grunted. "I'm sure I've been first in your thoughts lately."

"Uh, sure, whatever you say."

"I am noticing that our home has been especially clean, as of late. Our chilled keeper of foods has been particularly free from the blue fuzzies."

"Now that you mention it, yeah, things have been suspiciously tidy. Dude, what if there are ghost maids here at night, or—"

"Maybe it's a fairy. A magic cleaning fairy." Raven maintained a deadpan as she said this. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Oh how delightful! A tiny winged being taking care of our dwelling. Robin, could it be so?"

"Sure, Star, a fairy," he said. He looked meaningfully at Raven. "I'll bet she's very beautiful, too."

"Ah, and what a wonderful meal. Thank you, Robin, for preparing it." Starfire beamed at their leader. "These browned tubers are a delightful element with the egg and crumbled pig meat."

"Actually, Star, Raven made the country potatoes." He bit into his wrapped food and gave Raven a soft look. It was a look he would continue to give her throughout breakfast.

"Oh, I see," Starfire wilted. "Much appreciation for the delicious addition, Raven."

"You're welcome, Star," she replied. The emotions emitted from her teammates were not at all lost on her. Starfire's feelings of abandon and slight confusion were easy to pick up on, while Beast Boy's extreme jealousy and possessiveness were loud and clear. She knew Cyborg was feeling very satisfied and a little amused. From Robin there was… a very familiar feeling. She would've liked to investigate any one of them further, but she was starting to get overloaded. She quietly excused herself from the table and went to meditate on the roof.

Beast Boy glared at Robin as if he had stolen something very precious. He ignored any attempts to converse by Robin. When he finished eating, he violently pushed back his chair and left without clearing his setting.

"I am wondering if there is not something amiss with friend Beast Boy. I do not recall him being quite so lobstery before."

"That's 'crabby,' Star."

"Do not argue semantics when there is a friend in trouble!"

"She's got you there, Rob. Honestly, you'd think you'd broken his little red wagon."

"I thought friend Beast Boy had a moped, has he also this 'red wagon?'"

"It's a figure of speech, Starfire. He means that I did something to harm something dear to him."

"Yeah, well, I think it's kind of obvious, but it's not my place to say."

"Friend Cyborg, this is your home. If you have a place to say anything, this would be it, unless I am mistaken."

"He means he feels it isn't right or fair for him to say. I, however, feel that if he has anything to say, he should, because maybe it could help us help Beast Boy."

Robin and Starfire looked expectantly at Cyborg, who was stuffing another burrito into his mouth. He cast his eyes downward as he swallowed and prepared for what he had to say.

"He's getting a bit territorial. He's used to not having competition for… certain things." Cyborg's eyes glanced up to the roof.

"But Cyborg, Robin does not challenge him to the gaming boy and he craves competition on the station of gaming. Surely Beast Boy cannot be woeful over such."

"No, Starfire, this has nothing to do with our videogames. You get it, though, right Rob?"

"I do, but I don't. I'll deal with it."

Cyborg nodded and got up from the table. He began to clear away the plates and bowls. "Thanks for the breakfast, again. I hope you and Dark Girl make a habit out of this. I'll clean up."

"Right, I'll go talk to Beast Boy."

"I shall accompany you, friend Robin."

* * *

They explored the halls and rooms of the tower but to no avail. All the while, Starfire had been carefully considering their leader, as well as asking a multitude of questions regarding fairies and their home. When they finally decided to rest in the conservatory, she took the opportunity to pick his brains. 

"Robin, there seems to be something going on that I am not aware of. You are not telling me things which I feel you should."

"Starfire, would you please just give me a break? I'm not the only one you can go to." He leaned his head back and heaved a sigh.

"No, there are things that only you can answer. I will cease abusing the circumference of shrubbery." Robin's forehead wrinkled while he translated what she said into English. "Robin, I am feeling things I do not wish to feel. I observed you at breakfast as I have for the past few weeks, and I do not like what I see! You are spending less and less time with the team—with me—and more time with Raven. Robin, I do not like the way you look at her! I wish to be the one you look at in such a fashion! I want to be the only one you look at and seem to forget there is unpleasantness in the world!" He looked bewildered in response. Starfire stopped floating and sank to the floor. "Robin, what is going on?"

"Starfire, it's ok. I'm sorry I haven't been spending as much time with you; I honestly hadn't realized I was doing that." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And I hadn't realized I was looking at Raven a particular way. But, Star, I think there's been a great misunderstanding for a long time." He paused and looked at the alien girl. "Starfire, I think situations may have lead you to believe there was something between us that there never was. You're a very dear friend to me," Starfire winced. "But that's all."

"But, Robin, all those times… When I was betrothed due to a scheme of my sister's, what of your fury?"

"It was out of a strong sense of injustice."

"And what of your returned hugs and consolations in my times of worry?"

"I would do that for any friend. But, you most of all because you're so far from home and family, your basic support system. I wanted to make you feel as welcome and comfortable as possible; anyone would have been happy to, I was just the first one in line."

Starfire was quiet for a spell, her eyes closed and a look of concentration on her features. "On Tamaran, this would be the occasion for the Mass Slaughtering of Unrequited Love. Is this a tradition on Earth?"

"Er… I'm afraid not."

"And a duel for your affections is also uncalled for?" Robin nodded.

Again, she sat silent. Her jaw was set and her brow knit. "Yes, I understand and accept this. No hard feelings, leader?" She stood and held out a hand. She looked at him tearfully, but not a single drop dared escape. He stood from the bench he was sitting on and waved her hand out of the way. He embraced her, as he always had, and she understood.

"Is that all, Starfire?"

"Well, no… What of Raven? I may not have the gift of empathy as she, but I am no fool."

Robin was taken aback by her directness, but smiled. "I don't know, Star, but it's different. I like her a lot, and I wake up each day now with the hope of learning something new about her. She's special."

"I see, Robin. I wish you luck in your endeavor. I shall take the initiative to inquire of other minds in the future." With that, the Tamaranian princess turned solemnly and left Robin to his own devices.

Robin walked the path around the plants and let himself get lost in thought. He'd felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders at the prospect of having to spend less time explaining Earth ways to their foreign friend. He was so distracted by his own musings, he didn't notice an off-color boa slither out from the bushes and wrap around his ankles.

"Robin, I need to talk to you." Beast Boy's voice was hoarse, tired. "About Raven, and you, and…" He choked up. "Why, dammit, why now?"

"There's nothing going on, really, I'm just trying to learn more about her…"

"You could at least respect me enough to be honest. I can see it in the way you look at her. You want her like I do."

"Beast Boy, this is childish."

Beast Boy had returned to his human form. "I know what you're thinking… What about Terra? Well, she turned on us, then she turned to stone. I'm still pretty sore from all that, and now you're going after Raven…"

"Beast Boy… Garfield… Is it really so unreasonable to see why, though? I thought it wasn't an issue with you anymore. I'm sorry. But I can't undo it. And it wouldn't be fair to Raven for me to try."

"No, Robin, don't you get it? I just might love Raven. She may not laugh at my jokes, and she may ridicule me, but when push comes to shove, she's the one person I can count on. She's the ying to my yang. She's everything beautiful and wonderful that a boy could ever dream for."

"Beast Boy, I know, I see it, too."

"Then why do you have to take her from me? I've gotten so little right in my life, wanting Raven is the only thing that I haven't screwed up! And I know I can help her get over her darkness! You, with all your obsessions and moodiness, you'd bring her down with you! You could never give her what she needs, not like me!"

"But I'm going to try."

"I guess there's only one logical thing to do, then: we have to fight." Beast Boy rose from the ground and lifted his fists.

"Beast Boy, I'm not going to fight you, not for anything. I'm sorry we like the same girl, but you're like family." Beast Boy threw a punch, square into Robin's jaw. Robin could have dodged, easily could have blocked, but he took it.

Beast Boy glared at his leader. "Don't speak of family to me. You should know better. Now defend yourself!" He threw his fist into his opponent's stomach. Robin's jaw clenched.

"Do as you please, it won't change how either of us feels." Robin was looking straight into his attacker's.

"Feelings," Beast Boy mumbled. "What about how Raven feels? Do you know if she feels anything for you?"

"I could pose you the same question."

"Answer me."

Robin bit his lip and shut his eyes. "Lately, I'm sure you've noticed, she has been smiling more."

Beast Boy's face darkened and his eyes became glossy. He turned and took an accusing voice with his leader. "So, Starfire wasn't enough, huh? You just have to be the playboy of the Titans. Well, I hope… I hope… I'll get over this…" He turned and slumped out of the sunny room.

Alone, the bird looked at himself reflected in a puddle. Robin was drained after the two confrontations and again sought out a bench. Raven walked in after a while.

"Will you come sit with me, Raven?" She nodded consent and came cautiously over. Raven stared at the ground and softly sighed.

Her eyes stayed glued to the ground. "Starfire said that I should come see you?"

"Oh… did she mention why?"

"No." Raven studied him for a few moments. "You've got a welt on your face."

"Heh, yeah... Strangest thing; Beast Boy punched me"

She seemed to have lost the ability to speak. The tiniest of smiles played across her face.

"Raven, I –"

She put a finger to his lips. "Sh, some things are better left unsaid for a time. Let's just sit in silence."

The two birds shared in the quiet enjoyment of each other's company for quite a while on that bench. There were a few butterflies flitting about their indoor garden. The warmth created by the sun streaming in through the large windows was a comfort. Robin's pinky overlapped Raven's in a most significant sort of way.

* * *

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT**

**RE: WINTER UPDATES **

Oh man! Coming home today was rough, but that does not concern any one of you, so I'll move on. See, I've been invited up to visit some one in another state for about a week. IF I find time to write, it will be up after next Monday. Then, of course, there's Christmas. Same conditions will apply.

Now to indulge myself :) I'm going on a triiiip, I'm going somewhere neeew, I'm gonna make a frieeeend, I'm going with my looove. Heehee, roadtrip with my sweetheart. Wish me luck!


	8. Robin's List

Oh, Holy Corn, guys! The holidays have been nuts, in a big way, and there's one person to blame, but I'll allow it, because it's a good kind of nuts. I'm mostly back, working on the newest chapter, but here's something to remind you all that I do exist. Happy everything, and thanks for reading.

* * *

Robin sat at his desk and stared at the wall. The sun was setting, sending red light in through a small window to his right. He'd cleared away the laptop and the encyclopedias, the empty mugs and energy bar wrappers. Before him lay a single piece of paper and a pencil. He wrote:

Her name is Raven.

She is a girl.

She is a teenager. _I'll have to learn her actual age…_

She wears a cloak, leotard, and red jewels.

She has a portal to her mind.

She can cook.

She enjoys reading.

She likes Emily Dickinson.

Robin thought of the encounter with Slade…

She prefers her hair short.

Her father is an inter-dimensional demon that threatens to destroy our world.

She enjoys hot tea.

Meditation helps her control her powers.

Her favorite color is red, though she says it is blue.

He thought of the morning on the roof, and what followed.

She sometimes misses what's right in front of her.

She enjoys a good horror movie.

Though she can levitate, she usually walks, very quietly.

She cares for her friends very deeply, though she can't completely show it. _Yet_.

She has a beautiful smile, though she rarely shows it.

She is the most mindful of etiquette in the whole tower.

Robin considered this list of things he knew about the girl he was growing to love. He knew he wanted it to be much longer.


	9. solitude and sneaky sneaky

Only about a day later than my usual update day, eh? Well, this chapter came up whuite a bit shorter than I expected, but... I'm having trouble gettin ginto my 'writing zone.' Let me complain about that briefly, or just skip to reading below the line and you're set. See, as much as I enjoy writing, it takes time. Not like it just consumes it, I mean time flies easily when I begin writing. It's like a warp, I start at noon, and then it's dinner before I know it. I don't even feel like I get much done, but here's 3 pages worth /

* * *

Beast Boy sat on his lower bunk, facing the wall. He had taped to it a piece of paper he'd picked up from the hallway. The hand writing was neat and uniform, fitting between the lines perfectly, never overlapping. It was Robin's handwriting.

He very rarely used the lower bunk and it often baffled the other Titans as to why it even existed. Beast Boy had his reasons when he requested as much when moving into the Tower. Never having had many friends and much less family before his crime fighting days, it was his way of inviting it in. He'd always have a place for a buddy to sleep over. Like a queen size bed offers itself more to a love life than would a twin size bed. But he hadn't gotten to that stage in his life, he was still quite young. Twin beds were still quite adequate.

He had the blanket from the top bunk pulled down like a curtain, hiding him from the world. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he sighed deeply into them. He'd hit his commander, who he'd idolized prior to the team's formation. The girl he thought he had a chance with he now knew he didn't. Tears welled up in his eyes as he sat unblinking, staring at the list he had found, knowing what it meant. He felt so alone.

He should have been more upfront about the way he felt. He should have learned from Tara that tomorrow was never a guarantee. And those stupid jokes he always told. But at least he could still face her, how could he face Robin? He shouldn't have been so childish, why was he always so immature, so stupid?

Beast Boy wasn't sure of how much time had elapsed since crawling into this dark shelter, but he was sure he didn't care. His appetite was gone, and he was no longer in any mood for fun and games. Every word on that piece of paper was etched in his mind, but still he remained fixed on it.

There was a knock on his door, timid, soft. Just two taps.

"I'm not here," Beast Boy called out, robotically.

"I'm sorry, but I am not so gullible, any longer. And I fully intend to intrude upon your solitude." There then was the sound of his door opening and closing. Soft footsteps came closer and then a sliver of light illuminated the wall. He squinted a bit, but his eyes still did not close. Starfire joined him on the small bed, slouching a bit to keep from hitting her head.

"That list… it was written by… _friend_… Robin?" Beast Boy gave the slightest nod of ascension. The Tamaran princess laid her head against the wall and curled her legs up beside her. "Beast Boy, it is wrong for us to be so negative, is it not?" Her eyes dared not try to stare into his. She waited for his reply, but there was none. "On my planet, I could challenge Raven to the death or banishment. It is my right as royalty. Earth does not have such customs."

Silence persisted for some time. Then Beast Boy finally croaked, "It wouldn't have mattered."

Starfire looked at him, and she looked at the paper on his wall. "You are right. Robin still would feel nothing for me." She reached over and pulled his hand away from his shins. She pressed her lips gently into his palm. She folded his fingers over and replaced the fist against his legs. His eyes caught hers as she exited his bunk.

Beast Boy woke up only just realizing he had fallen asleep. His body had slumped over in a clumsy heap. Moving up from that position only because he heard another knocking on his door, he felt aches in his joints. He had no idea what time it was. The knock came again, followed soon by a voice.

"Beast Boy, I know you're in there. Please open the door." It was Raven. Very conscious of his post-nap breath, he crawled out of the bed and made his way to the door.

"I'm not sure I really want to see you right now. I don't think I want to see anybody, not for a while." One hand was still clenched shut. "So… just go…"

"No, Beast Boy. I'm your friend… please?" Knowing full well she could phase through, he appreciated her being considerate enough not to. He let out a deep sigh of resignation and opened the door. "Thanks."

Raven stepped over the threshold and he began walking back toward his hideaway. She followed him and watched as he crawled back to the far corner, behind the ladder, then she sat opposite him. He pulled a paper off his wall and crumpled it up as she settled in. Clearly, it was none of her business, so she didn't bother asking about it.

His eyes were a bit bloodshot, but his nose wasn't pink or runny, so Raven ascertained that he hadn't been crying. There was, however, a little bit of dried drool on the side of his mouth, giving away that he'd just stirred from slumber. Patiently, she waited to see if he'd be the first to speak. He wouldn't be.

"I saw Robin has a bruise on his face, about that size," she said and indicated his one clenched fist. "Now, we haven't gone into battle for quite a while, so… you wanna tell me about it?"

"Not really."

"But you realize you're going to, correct?"

Again, Beast Boy sighed. "We got in a fight… over manly things… He won."

"But you don't have any bruises." She could tell he wasn't going to be direct with her.

"Um, well, it was more complicated than that, see… The fight was over… who could take a harder hit? I wimped out?" Raven glared at him. "Ok… it was over you. I… Raven… dammit, and it just wasn't fair!"

"Beast Boy, don't make me read your mind…"

"Eep!" He squinched his eyes shut, an attempt to block out mental waves. "No, my mind is private! For serious, Raven, it isn't my place to tell you exactly why we fought, but… I have a question for you." She kept silent, allowing him to plod on. "What do you think of me? What have you ever thought of me?"

Raven raised her eyebrows ever so slightly. The inquiry was a bit unexpected, so she needed a moment to consider her response. "I really don't like to judge others…" Beast Boy bit his lower lip, waiting. "You've always been a funny guy, Beast Boy, even though I rarely share an appreciative laugh. Comedy isn't really for me. You're a tough fighter and a great friend. You probably value the close bonds you've made here more than anyone could. Lately, you haven't really been yourself, and though I don't know why you hit Robin, I'm sure that was the peak of it, and now you know. Whatever is wrong, you now see it and, maybe, you can work through it now? If not, we're here…" She wasn't sure that's what he'd meant, so let it trail off.

"I used to like you, you know." His eyes were now fixed on a piece of lint on the blanket.

"No, but I know you used to think you did. Then Tara came, and, well, that was love. You love her, Beast Boy. I envy that."

"Raven, you're capable of a lot of things you don't even know. You love, too, you just don't admit it. The way you protect us and the way you came here to do whatever, that's love. And there are people loving you, too, you just don't see it." He thought of the crumpled paper shoved into the gap between the mattress and the wall. "Like keeping your eyes closed during a sunrise. I was starting to feel—"

"No more, Beast Boy. I see where that one's going, and let me save us both the awkward moment. Never, it just won't happen. As much as you hear 'opposites attract' there still need to be some basic commonalities… You'll want to run and play while I'd prefer to sit and read and as such we'd inhibit each other, too much." Beast Boy gave her a pitiful look. "And I tend to use words you don't understand."

"I see how it is, Raven. I'm sorry I thought you'd always be there, and that I assumed I had your best interest. And could you tell Robin I'm sorry I punched him? I'm a little afraid to face him, now."

A corner of Raven's mouth turned up. "Will do." She started to get up to leave, but then leaned over and punched Beast Boy's shoulder. "That's for making me second string to a blonde."

As she started to leave the room, she turned around and telepathically moved the top bunk's comforter back into place. "Thanks, Rae, I don't think the darkness suited me very much, huh?" She shook her head and let out a noise that could have been a chuckle as she turned to leave. Maybe Beast Boy didn't even realize the double meaning.

Meanwhile, Starfire was meandering through the Tower. She had so many question on how to deal with losing a love interest, that she now seem barely perturbed by the loss. Using sensibility, she knew it would now be inappropriate to go to Robin with such questions. While talking to Beast Boy, she realized he was in no state of mind to offer reliable answers. That left only…

"Cyborg! I have a much weighted mind. Please, would you be so kind as to, um… Well?"

Cyborg had been on his way to do some maintenance on the gym equipment when Robin had come upon him and filled him in. Usually, he'd give her the slip and refer her to Robin, but that apparently had to change.

"Sure, Star, unload on me." They were near the library. "Do you wanna walk up a ways so we can sit down and chat?"

"That would be most pleasant, friend Cyborg." She followed him to a nearby room that she had not often visited. There were tall, wide shelves filled with every imaginable written work. She had memorized much of Tamaran's lore quite young and had not given much consideration to reading since she began training to become a fierce fighter, and even less once she joined the Titans. Perhaps she would understand Earth ways a bit better if she would. Her eyes wandered the tomes as Cyborg pulled a couple chairs together near a small table. She then abandoned those thoughts and joined him in sitting.

"What's on that pretty little mind of yours?" Cyborg entreated her with a warm smile.

"Well, you see… for quite some time, I had thought I was…_with_… Robin, or at least that I soon would be. Where did I go wrong?"

"You didn't, Star. You can't make some one feel a certain way, and you shouldn't assume how they feel in any case. So you misunderstood, big deal, right?"

"Rr—right, misunderstood… Should I ask often and blatantly how anyone feels of me? On Tamaran, such things are easier to sense. Earth boys seem more complex."

"Well, I don't know about all Earth boys, but Robin certainly is one tough nut to crack. No, you don't need to constantly check how some one feels, but maybe every now and then, maybe. If you don't know, it couldn't hurt to ask."

"How can I deal with Raven, now? Should I feel betrayed?"

"Starfire, if you feel betrayed, you should talk to Raven about it. You two are friends and I know she wouldn't intentionally hurt you. Besides, it's not her fault Robin likes her. You can't hold his feelings against her."

They continued this talk for some time, the library staying very quite and uninhabited. There was one accidental eavesdropper, however. Coming in to exchange a Salinger for a Faulkner, Raven had gotten distracted by a layer of dust on a neglected shelf. Before she realized it, she was hearing a conversation she was sure she shouldn't. But she found herself stuck and quietly sank to the floor into a corner of tall shelves right beside a certain occupied table. She became far too engrossed in the subject matter to consider phasing out.

* * *

Ooo, the sneaky sneaky. Never underestimate the sneaky sneaky. So what have I been doing this whole absence of mine? Well, um, more than I can write here, but I'll make an attempt. I've been to a bunch of hockey games, first year, never attended any other sport. Guess what? I love hockey! I know what you're thinking: Texas? Hockey? WTF? Well, apparently the Houston Aeros rock, except now Harding is out injured and they aren't saying much about it. Poor guy, he's an awesome goalie. And Erik Reitz is a total BAMF. Haha. And I went and looked at penguins in the local aquarium, because there were 2 hatched there this past fall. I WANT to go to the zoo and see the baby jaguars, but we haven't gotten around to that, yet. It's free, tomorrow, so maybe we'll brave the MLKJr Day crowd? Christmas, New Years, every other weekend with my boyfriend's dad's, job hunting, school applying, baking, cleaning, drawing, and generally being a BAMF myself. Ooo, and I went to see the Chronicles of Narnia and made lewd innuendos about beavers the whole time with my best ever boyfriend. Heehee, we're filthy.

So, other than that, I'm up for any opinion on this story, now. I'm getting a little mental block-- too much time away made me lose some of my direction-- so if you have any suggestions, SHOOT. I'll bet you all are full of great ideas and even if you're not, maybe some bad ideas could inspire me, too :)


	10. Coming to Terms

So... this has been done for about a week, but I held off posting it because I wanted to see if something better came to mind. No such luck :( But, still, it's something. Thanks to **KittyKatMeow-Chan **for being the great, faithful beta. Everyone, give her a hand!

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes and holiday cheer. Hope you're all having a great new year, since we're about through the first month. I didn't make a resolution, but I suppose that's good, because now I can't fail it, right? Heehee. Have fun.

* * *

Long after her friends had left, Raven continued to sit in that corner, contemplating the information she had accidentally received. Should she confront him? Should she try talking to Star herself? 

She looked at the Faulkner in her lap, still very interested in its contents. Idly, she opened it and began skimming the pages, taking in the words but letting her mind dwell on other matters.

Down the hallway, Cyborg and Starfire walked together, continuing conversation, but on different topics. Cyborg had mentioned something about being hungry, and Starfire had begun to rattle on about traditional puddings. He tuned her out and waited for her lips to stop moving, then started telling her about fruit smoothies. Their feet carried them towards the kitchen.

Beast Boy was uncrumpling a certain paper, then carefully folding it, and adding it to his wastebasket. He logged onto his computer and his homepage popped up. He began writing a blog, under the alias MunsterBoy. He was pretty sure no one knew who he actually was… since all he ever did was whine about girls. He hadn't been on in quite a while, the last time was a futile lament about losing his 'Rock Skipper.'

Robin was in his room, looking for a list he'd been working on. He hoped it hadn't fallen in his trash, since he was pretty sure it'd been emptied out recently. His computer notified him that Beast Boy was blogging again. Robin shook his head and smiled, watching as words appeared on the screen. The intention was to make sure his teammate didn't post any information that could get him or any of the other Titans in trouble. He was amazed by how normal Beast Boy managed to seem, though angsty.

Then something happened, something that hadn't happened in quite some time. There was an obnoxious, blaring tone. There were flashing red lights. On Robin's screen, there now appeared something new. Trouble in Jump City. The alarm was sounding. Robin quickly assessed the description of the danger that had been sent to him.

"Titans! Go!" He ran out into the corridor, whipping out his communicator. "Beast Boy, Cyborg, Starfire, Raven! On the ready! The City needs our help!"

* * *

It had been a fair battle. The crooks were trying to make off with a shipment of crude oil. They'd had weapons they shouldn't have, but the Titans had powers others didn't. Raven had been placed on defense the entire battle, protecting the highly flammable cargo as much from Photon cannons and Star bolts as stray bullets. 

The threat was eventually neutralized, and the city was safe again. Sweaty and showing signs of the struggle, the Titans waved off a few onlookers. Starfire lagged behind to sign a few autographs for the sailors. Raven elected to ride in the T-Car back to the tower.

Once home, a small celebration ensued. There were coke floats and fruit smoothies all around. Cyborg was instructing Starfire at the blender, and Robin was loading parfait glasses with soda and vanilla ice cream. Beast Boy was packing his own glass with a soy based alternative. Raven was sitting on the couch, facing backwards, watching her friends. Robin noticed her all by herself, and loaded a tray precariously with floats and headed in her direction.

"Root beer, or cola?" He flashed her a crooked grin. "Or both, but… actually, I can't tell them apart, now, so…"

"Thank you, Robin." She gingerly removed one from the tray. He moved around the couch and set the tray on the table before sitting next to her.

He began spooning out the ice cream as she slowly drank the creamy soda from the straw. They watched their teammates making a general disaster of the kitchen. Raven's eyes began to droop, but she sat straight back and emitted an aura of alertness still. She took another drag from the straw and noticed her leader staring now in her direction.

"It's Cola." She then started to eat the ice cream.

"Are you ok, Raven?"

"Yes… I…" She mulled over what she had just accidentally learned prior to the alarm going off. While fighting, all that had seemed to vanish, and they were all just soldiers, home relations set aside. Now it was settling in on her like a ton of bricks. She avoided meeting his gaze.

There he was, sitting not two feet away from her. She loved him, and he loved her. How does one in love behave? Does he know how she feels? Raven cleared her throat and decided not to read too much into anything, at this point. Right now, he was just her leader, he was just her friend, and they were just two people sitting together enjoying some cold treats after putting away some terrorists.

"We haven't had this in a while. It's good to be able to celebrate. As much as crime is terrible, it did serve pretty well to break up the monotony that had fallen on the tower, right Raven?"

"That it did." She began to sip the very last of the soda from the bottom of her cup.

The three other Titans eventually joined them on the couch. Cyborg popped in a movie and they began to settle down for the evening. Raven stubbornly refused to let her eyes close, though she was quite tired and the proximity of the Boy Wonder was warming her in the most blanket-like sort of way. Eventually, though, they all went to bed, and she could set about cleaning the kitchen before anything became too dried on.

A little sapped of energy from the battle, she did all the lifting and moving by hand. She cleaned the blender, and had set all the cups to soak in soapy water before transferring them to the dishwasher. She began to wipe down the table when she felt a chair conveniently behind her legs. Sitting for a moment couldn't hurt… no, it wouldn't hurt… she just… a moment… Azarath… Metri…on…Zzzzz….

* * *

"So, this was your secret?" There was a voice in the darkness. She knew it was Robin's, but what would he be doing in her room? 

Wait… her pillow wasn't this hard, nor did it smell like lilacs. Oh no, and the darkness was just the backs of her eyelids.

Raven peeled her face from the kitchen table. Her arm was outstretched, a sponge in her hand. She hadn't showered after the battle.

"M-my secret?"

"I had my suspicions… how long have you been doing this? And why?"

She slowly sat up, working out stiff muscles and limbs. "Robin, I'm a little off my game, today. What is it you're talking about?"

He took the sponge from her hand and sat down beside her. "Give me some credit, I'm a detective. You don't have to be so coy about it  
with me. I know, now, and nothing's going to change that. You've been doing all our cleaning. Picking up after we go to sleep, or when we leave the room. I thought we were just a really 'with-it' bunch of teenagers, but it's you…"

Raven sat silent and still, a little embarrassed to be put on the spot like this. It was true, there would be no hiding it from him, now. "It's not what you think… I'm not so humble as to consider myself beneath all of you."

"Well, that's good to hear," considering how I've put you up on a pedestal already. "So, why have you been doing this?"

She weighed her answer carefully. "I care about you. All of you. It's the least I can do… to show my appreciation… to protect you all. I didn't want anyone to know."

"How does all this cleaning protect us?"

"All the germs that could infect you, all the things you could trip on, and relieving you each of one more burden. Just fewer things in your lives to trouble you. A little help to get by."

"I… don't understand. We're all grown enough and fully capable of doing these things ourselves. Why didn't you tell anyone about it? Wouldn't you like to hear praise for your good work?"

"Robin, that's selfish. If you do something just to hear your praises, it's no longer a selfless act, it's a means to an end. By not telling anyone, it stayed that, simply that, a nice thing to do… for my friends… my family…"

Robin looked at the purple-haired half-demon sitting beside him. He considered her statements. He considered where she'd come from. She'd been raised in a temple in a rather monkish atmosphere. She'd been taught to subdue her emotions, something the Titans were trying to undo. With this in mind, it made sense that the best way to show appreciation or love was through servitude.

"Oh, Raven…" He got up and pulled her up out of her chair and into a hug. "I get it… I understand, but you really don't have to. We love you anyway! We're equals, we share these responsibilities, and you don't have to… mother us. But thank you."

Raven stiffened in his arms, not sure of how to react. Would it be too much to hug him back? Would she lose control? While she was concentrating on how her arms should behave, her mouth took off on its own.

"I love you, too, Robin." His grip on her tightened almost imperceptibly. All previous conversation had been lost to him. Fearing the worst, she tried to recover. "I love all the Titans. You're my family."

A feeling of disappointment washed over Robin. He'd thought… thought that… but of course not. He collected himself and pulled back to attempt talking this out.

"So… er, what exactly have you been doing for us that we've taken for granted, and for how long?" There was still a slight tint to his cheeks.

Raven chewed her bottom lip, regretting slightly turning the situation like she had. But she continued on, ignoring every impulse to break off and wrap her arms around him. Ignoring every emotion speaking to the back of her mind, telling her how wrong she was for what she'd said. She told her leader when she'd taken to early morning cleaning, she told him everything she'd been doing. The latter he began to write down so he could divide it up amongst the five Titans. Raven reached out and put her hand on his notepad.

"Please… don't. Be more mindful that the others complete the chores already assigned them. I am a creature of habit. Don't make me change my ways."

Robin saw she was sincere. He tore the page out of the notebook and handed it to her. "But you have to promise you're going to let up, maybe let me take over a few things?"

"Like scrubbing the toilets?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"I was thinking more like maintaining the gym equipment." They chuckled together, the tension finally breaking. "What do you say we go  
out for breakfast?"

"The others won't be up for at least another hour—"

"Just you and me, let them sleep."

"Ok… but I haven't showered." She brought her arms close to her body self consciously.

"You've got 10 minutes." He pulled out a watch. "I'm timing you, you'd better hurry."

Raven rose from her chair and swaggered out of the kitchen. "Uh-huh, try and rush me, Boy Blunder. See how far that gets you. I know you won't leave without me."

Robin sat back in his chair and laughed softly. When she's right, she's right.

* * *

5 am and they were at Raven's favorite tea house. They enjoyed some locally baked goods. They mostly just enjoyed the changing light in the sky and the sounds of the city waking up. 

"Hey Raven?"

"Yes, Robin?"

"Thanks for keeping a shield up by the crude oil during the battle yesterday. It really helped the team to not have to worry about it exploding from their fire."

She smiled at him knowingly over her warm mug. This was a good moment.

"Hey Robin?"

"Yes, Raven?"

"I know that you like me in a more than 'just friends' sort of way."

"I love you, Raven."

"I love you, too, Robin."

* * *

The End? Whaaa, it's over already? Yeah, it seems so. It feels sort of... weird, almost like I didn't do it right. But, this is it. Unless, of course, I do an epilogue. I've been working on a multi-chapter high school setting fic. I know there are plenty of those, but, um, I don't know, I'm a sucker for my own stories. Well, if you would like to beta/preview a chapter of that, email me-- been fun, and I've appreciated all the great reviews. Thanks to everyone! 


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